Self-Acceptance

Graduate school, the general counselling community, and summarization of client-centered therapy/theory does not do Carl Rogers' original writings and philosophies much justice. Further, reading him alone makes one feel more free to be themselves, allowing others to do the same. I believe his philosophy to actually be quite deep in equating human growth to that of any organism, always growing to optimal strength. As practitioners we often throw around, "oh, i'm definitely client centered" while not realizing when we impose our own beliefs, needs, and wishes for the client, our family, or our friends. I do not believe we need to stay impartial all the time and part of being authentic and genuine (as Rogers champions) is to express our thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It is how we do this - can we do it without needing the client or others to adopt and embrace for growth? Not always easy and the ways in which we do this can often be very subtle.

For those of us looking to grow and change, whether it be clients in therapy, therapist in their own lives, or any other person seeking happiness and contentment, we must accept ourselves. What does this look like? Well, I would encourage anyone to notice how judgemental you are throughout the day toward yourself and others. This creates a need to be perfect as well. We might want to change things about ourselves but we also need to accept those things as well. Growth is paradoxical in that we must balance acceptance and change in order to change. We are the only species or organism that dislikes itself at times throughout one's life. We look outside ourselves for acceptance and reassurance that we are good and okay. We rely on others to confirm our value.

It takes a real shift in thinking and being to experience the stance of only relying on our own positive opinion of ourselves. Once we experience this shift it is a whole different way of being with ourselves and others. It is a "shift" in our being equal to plate tectonics for the earth. This does not mean we do not take feedback, we just don't allow that to define us. We usually overgeneralize others' feedback to mean way more about who we are than is necessary or even logical.

Life is about constantly being reminded of this and coming back to ourselves and being okay,. not allowing others' opinions, feelings, thoughts, and projections to define us and change our own natural organismic way of inherent acceptance.